Courage to be disliked

Author: Tags:#media/book #audiobook

• themes: *
• Summary:
  • conversation between professor of philosophy/psychology, specifically adlerian psychology, which is against the mainstream pscychology schools of thought like Freud, wher it suggests that every person is working towards a goal and their actions reflect their desire to move towards that goal and every problem is an interpersonal problem. and that your past is useless (it does not determine your future) and that individuals can change themselves
• notes::
  • trauma is fake (one of the more controversial points)
    • in the end everything is your choice and you are choosing to be antisocial or whatever trait you dont like as a defense mechanism against failure
    • you need the courage to be disliked and do what you want
      • this is a lot what visakanv tries to get people to do with his start small and identifying where you want to go
    • courage to be happy is the courage to be disliked
  • every problem is an interpersonal problem
    • everything you have problem with is just you interacting with another person
    • everyone is equal, even someone older and someone younger just differ in amount of knowledge they have
  • happiness comes down to having Courage to be disliked
    • being okay with being disliked is not mutually exclusive to not wanting people to dislike you
    • just a natural result that doing your own thing and being self-centered in a way that is authentic to yourself will cause people to dislike you for not following the rules or their expectations for you
      • you and them and shame and being shameless
      • creativity and innovation and connection come from vulnerability and discarding shame ^o509DyDgk
  • encouragement as intervention
    • Neither praise nor rebuke
    • Praising is power manipulation
      • Judgement passed from person or ability to person of no ability
      • Do thanks instead of praise improvements
    • carrots and sticks
  • horizontal vs. vertical relationships
    • horizontal relationships are better where everyone is equal, ditch the power hierarchy
  • Community feeling:: individual focus but you have to care about how others feel in your community
    • Everyone and everything in the universe is your community
    • seeing everyone around you as companion?
    • Need to feel worthy in order to feel courage
      • everyone who had connection, the common was that they believe they are worthy and are whole-hearted people ^gtlcT4CHn
      • How do you feel worth? You need to have contribution, skin in the game, you are creating value ^u0gI88edS
        • people want to contribute
      • very brene brown vibes
    • apply this philosophy to software in designing the proper conditions for people to have skin in the game and form horizontal relationships and have Community feeling
    • psychological oxygen and psychological safety
  • life is a bunch of dots representing moments not a line. Line is formed from future looking back interpretation ^T87S7mQ01
  • dance through life permanent ^k-xbFWoNg
  • courage to be normal — to be yourself and be ok with that