10 Types of Odd Friendships You’re Probably Part Of

Author:: Tim Urban Full Title:: 10 Types of Odd Friendships You’re Probably Part Of Tags:#media/article URL:: https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/12/10-types-odd-friendships-youre-probably-part.html

• themes::
  • theme 1
• Summary::
  • friendship tier list
    • 
  • Friendship friends you make most of your friends in the first quarter of your life before you even know what it means
    • at that point it’s not easy to make friends anymore once you’ve figured it out

      • Sure, you’ll make new friends in the future—at work, through your spouse, through your kids—but you won’t get to that Tier 1 __brothers __level, or even to Tier 2, with very many of them, because people who meet as adults don’t tend to get through the 100+ long, lazy hangouts needed to reach a bond of that strength. As time goes on, you start to realize that the 20-year frenzy of not-especially-thought-through haphazard friend-making you just did was the critical process of you making most of your lifelong friends.

  • does this friendship make sense?
    • 
  • summary 1

* Highlights first synced by Readwise 2021-01-06

* proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other. 
* Sure, you’ll make new friends in the future—at work, through your spouse, through your kids—but you won’t get to that Tier 1 brothers level, or even to Tier 2, with very many of them, because people who meet as adults don’t tend to get through the 100+ long, lazy hangouts needed to reach a bond of that strength. As time goes on, you start to realize that the 20-year frenzy of not-especially-thought-through haphazard friend-making you just did was the critical process of you making most of your lifelong friends. 
* There’s something I call the Perpetual Catch-Up Trap. When you haven’t seen a good friend in a long time, the first order of business is a big catch-up—you want to know what’s going on in their career, with their girlfriend, with their family, etc., and they want to catch up on your life. In theory, once this happens, you can go back to just hanging out, shooting the shit, and actually being in the friendship. The problem is, when you don’t make enough time for good friends, seeing them only for a meal and not that often—you end up spending each get-together catching up, and you never actually get to just enjoy the friendship or get far past the surface